Hi Will, thanks for reading and this is a great question. Let me just check I understand it properly…

So I think you are asking if I have found a third way between uptight (sober me, in the early days) and easygoing (me full of beer, unless you’re my boyfriend.) Is that right?

I’ll answer and if I misunderstood we can try again…

So the third way, which took a long time, was to be okay with who I really am. I am not especially easygoing, but I have other qualities 😁

Also in the five years of not being able to make myself easygoing and content via beer I have had to discover what I actually enjoy and what I need to be okay and how I like to spend my time and who I can be that version of myself around, and mostly spending time with those people.

So not a quick fix by any stretch of the imagination.

And life definitely looks different these days. I rarely sit in the pub now as it turned out without the beer I didn’t really like it so much. I mean, I like it well enough, but I’d rather stay home or go for dinner. An hour in the pub is plenty before I get bored.

This doesn’t feel like a loss anymore, but I never would have believed that in early sobriety. I was brought up in pubs and they always felt wonderful to me. Well, until they didn’t.

I probably have written about this. Who knows. I write so much even I can’t keep up. But I’ll try n remember to have a look and see if there’s anything that might discuss this.

And if I totally misunderstood, please let me know!