Hi C.S.,

Thanks for sharing this. I do have the inside voice that pipes up to crush my dreams. I have made some progress with gentling it, but it always returns. I try to drown it out with an extra voice (so many voices) that is the kindest voice on earth. But still, I do suffer with self-doubt a lot. Even when I stay home. It's frustrating. This is why I loved alcohol and drugs (though I didn't know it at the time) because they quietened my mind. I still haven't found anything so effective. But the critical voice in my head has a lot less material to destroy me with since I stopped acting like a jerk.

I do struggle with the balance, absolutely. Because my dream is to stay in bed forever and write, but then when I do, I sometimes think I'm a loser. Or I love staying home and just pottering around, but then I'll start attacking my partner because we're not having enough adventures. Sometimes it feels like I can't win with my psyche. But as I learn that, maybe I can win???? Fingers crossed.

It helps to hear other people share, like you have, and realise this is just part of the package. And so long as you don't give up on yourself, you are winning. Keep writing to and talking to people.

I veer between not doing enough and doing too much. I made a rule to only book one thing a day at the weekend, and that helped with the burnout I get from socialising. I have also started to keep hangouts a bit shorter so I don't get overstimulated.

Thanks so much for your message, I loved reading it.

Chelsey xx