Face-hiding musician Sia has made a film. It’s called Music and is about a non-verbal autistic girl (called Music). The trailer released and Twitter got angry with Sia, then Sia got angry with Twitter. So who’s in the right? Let’s take a closer look.
Music’s trailer released on November 19th. It is a vivid, cheerful, unapologetically pop creation, full of primary colors turned up to maximum. …
I am just recovering from the disease which cannot be named (more than a billion times a day) and you may be glad to know that amidst the grossness I also found some time to write. I know! What a hero, right?
Being knocked out by an international man of mystery illness turns out to be my muse (or maybe, finally admitting defeat and missing a couple of days of my day job gave me a bit more time than usual). Either way, I have 3 new stories to share with you. Hurray!
First, I wrote about how social media response to the new Sainsburys ad reveals the UK’s racism problem is not as far behind the US as our politicians like to insist. Then I wrote about the weird need for permission to quit drinking. And then I wrote about the red flags me and my friends shrugged off as they swished by our pretty faces. Who says I don’t know how to have fun? …
“I didn’t even drink that much, but it still ruined my life,” I said, and everyone laughed.
I was in a Zoom writing group, talking about the book I’m writing about getting sober. This month’s masterclass was with Marion Roach Smith, who wrote The Memoir Project.
“Put your hand up if what she just said was funny,” Marion said.
Six hands raised, and the accompanying faces smiled tentatively. I smiled back, though I didn’t entirely understand what was funny.
“You went to AA so they could tell you that you were an alcoholic so that you could stop drinking not that much. …
Shaking my head over the red flags I have ignored over the years, I decided to do some quantitative research. Okay, I mean I asked three of my best friends a few questions. I knew from our chats that we were all guilty of overlooking some pretty gigantic signs that this was not True Love. What I didn’t know was why we did it.
I wanted to write something that showed how dumb we can all be when it comes to relationships, and also to share a bit of research that might help us love better in the future. …
Sainsbury's is trending on Twitter. This is unusual enough for me to investigate, and so I watch a heartwarming Christmas ad that makes me miss my family, want to eat a roast dinner, and imagine my boyfriend doing an embarrassing song and dance about his cooking skills for our future children.
Aw, Twitter is just excited for Christmas, I think naively, before the words racist comments catch my eye.
The family giving me warm Christmassy feelings in Sainsbury’s new ad, titled Gravy Song, is black. There’s a phone call between a dad and his daughter. She’s dreaming of her mum’s roasties and wondering whether she’ll be home in time to eat them. Her dad reminds her that he is something of a wizard at making gravy, so much so that he’s improvised a song to celebrate his skillset. …
Living with a drinking problem is like having two personalities. There’s the part of you that is done with booze, and the part of you that cannot imagine living without it. As it begins to dawn on you that alcohol is causing many of your problems, these two parts fight for ascension.
As I struggled to stay sober this only got worse. My personality felt fractured and unstable. My habitual self-destructive tendencies felt natural, while the new sober part of me felt phony.
And since nobody else had told me I had an issue, half the time I felt like I was inventing a new problem for myself. I didn’t honestly identify as an alcoholic, but I kept drinking though I didn’t want to. …
I quit drinking before my problem had become insurmountable, and this brought it’s own set of difficulties. Sometimes, I found myself wishing for a more dramatic rock bottom, as at least then, I would know I had to stop. How was it for you? Did you still love drinking when you quit? Or had you seen through the illusion.
This piece is all about how I managed to stop without a dreadful rock bottom, and (somehow) without relapsing either. I hope you enjoy it.
Thanks for reading,
It’s easy enough to let go of headaches, nausea and shame, but what about that first pint in a sunny beer garden? What about those daft nights in with friends? What about that heavy drinking boyfriend? When you’re contemplating life without alcohol, the potential losses can seem to outweigh the gains.
This is one of the things that makes it so hard to even consider quitting for good. (This and the fact that it’s one of the most addictive substances on the planet.)
It’s especially hard to consider when everyone you know loves to drink. Wednesday night catch up, dinner with friends, wedding or funeral, your pals will be on the sauce. …
I mean it — what are you afraid of? I still remember my own long list of fears, and honestly, some of them weren’t unfounded. What I couldn’t know until I made the leap, was about the payoffs. And there were so many!
This week I’ve written about the main fear I hear about: Three Common Fears About Getting Sober and How to Overcome Them. I hope it helps. And let me know what I’ve missed.
We also have some fantastic new posts from our glorious editor Gillian May and one of our talented contributors, Marie Tierney, too. Staying sober requires more than abstinence and What is wrong with Mommy drinking culture, respectively.
If you enjoy Beautiful Hangover, please clap heartily. It’s how we writers get paid (and so can keep writing.) <3
Thanks for reading, and let us know if there’s anything you want us to cover.
Every week I hear from readers of Beautiful Hangover who want to get sober but are afraid of what will happen if they do. How will they socialize? What will become of their marriage? Will their friends find their abstinence difficult?
The longer you drink for, the more entrenched your fears become. Whether that is fear of becoming boring (best thing I ever did ❤) or fear of what/who you will lose in the process of sobering up. We can become paralyzed, stuck in a cycle of drinking when we don’t want to because we can’t imagine the alternative.
Sometimes it can feel like everybody drinks the way that we do. Especially in the UK, which is particularly tolerant of alcohol abuse. Here 57% of the population drink regularly. Only 20% don’t drink at all. But 20% of the UK’s population is over 10 million people. So you really aren’t going to be alone. …